Jewfem Blog

Last year, I participated in the AJC Conversion Colloquium, a meeting of some 75 Jewish leaders on the Israel conversion crisis (that is, stories of conversions being reversed and not accepted, etc), in which Freundel was one of the "star" speakers, given a large cushy time slot to share his approach to conversion. He promoted himself as the key person to resolve the whole crisis btwn Israel and the US, made himself out to be the one "rescuing" converts by brokering secret deals with the Israeli rabbinate. (Seth Farber was infuriated at the whole thing, as his entire life work was trampled on, and he and Freundel had a very memorable shouting match, but Farber did not formally get the floor, so he lost. Anyway, that's a whole other thing.) So Freundel, who headed the RCA's conversion committee, said something that still sticks with me -- about how "There are people walking around the streets of Israel who think that they're Jewish and probably aren't". And to me - i was like, why should you care that way? What does that even mean that we are thinking about a Jew walking on the streets of Israel who you have determined may not be Jewish? I couldn't get past this imagery. It all smacked of a kind of megalomania, a need to stand at the gates and determine who goes in and who does not. I remember listening to that and thinking, this entire conversion thing is all wrong. Too much obsessive rabbinic control over the people -- especially women, who constitute 80% of converts. But at the time, that's not what I said. When it was my turn on the panel (I was one of three women speakers in the whole day), I pointed out that gender was the "elephant in the room" at the heart of the entire discussion. How the overwhelming majority of speakers were men, how decisions were made exclusively by men, how the ones disproportionately affected by these decisions were powerless women, and how disturbing it was that a roomful of men could sit in this sterile place making determinations about women's lives without having women in positions of power. My comments went nowhere (except to Gary Rosenblatt's story about the event), and the day continued as it was, ignoring gender and allowing men with power to engage with one another and forget about their gender privilege and those whose lives they were controlling. I keep thinking about this, about the layers and layers of rabbinic male control over women, over our bodies and our status and our "permissibility" and our inclusion and our identity. And i'm thinking, really enough. The whole system is wrong. It's all wrong. We are allowing men to be gatekeepers over women's lives and identities and enough is enough. Enough is enough. This story validates our worst fears coming true. The entire conversion system is quite possibly one big male sexual fantasy. It's time to uproot the whole system from its core....

I just chatted with an RCA rabbi who has been personally pleading with the RCA for the past TWO YEARS to take Freundel off of the conversion committee because there are apparently MANY testimonies to the fact that he manipulated and abused female conversion candidates. "I knew he was abusive to converts and I had been trying to pressure the RCA to deal with it for 2 years...... His abuse included intimidation, manipulation, forcing them to work as free assistants in his office to 'expedite' their process......He doted way too much on certain girls he picked as favorite.....If i had a nickel for every young female conversion candidate who came to my doorstep because she was afraid of him, felt manipulated by him or whatever, i'd be a rich man...Too many of them were afraid to come forward for fear of having conversions stopped or revoked... oh, and the best part...he would go to them and ask them for money to the tune of thousands of dollars so he could make sure their conversions 'continued to be recognized'." The RCA, rather than deal with Freundel, ostracized the complaining rabbi, dubbing him "not orthodox" and dubbing the women "crazy". The rabbi is now talking anonymously to reporters. This story is indeed confirming the worst suspicions of the Orthodox leadership and the systematic abuse of women.

I've spent the past few days on Facebook (yeah, that's pretty much it), writing and chatting about the Freundel scandal. Feel free to friend me there and engage with me. I will upload some of my posts here as well. In the meantime, I am sharing an interview I did with Elanit Jakabovics, the Kesher Israel president and hero of this whole episode. I interviewed her in 2012 shortly after she became the first female president of the shul. Here is the interview, which was originally posted on the JOFA blog:   Interview with Elanit Z Rothschild Jakabovics Elanit Z Rothschild Jakabovics was recently elected as the first woman president of Kesher Israel Synagogue in Washington, DC. Elanit, a 33-year old management consultant with Grant Thornton and a mother of two originally from Staten Island, is not only the first woman but also the youngest president in the shul, whose rabbi is Rabbi Barry Freundel. JOFA Executive Director Elana Sztokman sat down with Elanit to hear about her new position, and to hear about ways that other women can be inspired to follow suit in their own shuls: WHEN AND HOW DID YOU BECOME SHUL PRESIDENT? The technical answer to this question is that a slate was proposed to the shulmembership in early June 2012 and was voted on at the annual membership meeting at the end of June. My term began on July 1, 2012. Coincidentally enough, I was placed on modified bed rest the last week in June and didn’t make it back to shul for Shabbat until my son’s brit on August 11. I was able to attend some meetings between July 1 and August 4 (when my son was born) during the week, since I drove and stayed off my feet for the most part, but I didn’t really go out on Shabbat, nervous my water would break during my walk. to/from. I think the answer you’re looking for, however, is that I was on the Kesher Board since 2004 and shul president was never a role that many ran towards. So, just based on experience at the shul and a few other variables, it sort of fell in my lap. In 2011, the Board revised its by-laws to explicitly allow for female presidents. See here for a copy of the by-laws and the psak halakha by Rabbi Freundel about it: http://kesher.org/governance/documents/CongregationKesherIsraelBy-Laws-FinalAmendedJune2011.pdf  WAS THIS SOMETHING YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO DO? Yes and no. I was intrigued by the possibilities but was nervous about the implications and responsibilities that it entailed. Remember, Kesher Israel is a small synagogue, with only two paid employees, so almost everything that is done is by volunteer. The role of president at Kesher isn’t just a role where you get to sit and think about the long term vision of the shul. There are a lot of day-to-day operational/programmatic issues to take care of. Not one day goes by where I’m not taking care of something else that is shul-related. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR JOB? It’s better than anticipated. I enjoy the relationships and connections I am making with people I did...

“I always say I’m sorry when I’ve hurt someone,” a man told me proudly in a recent conversation, a reflection that seemed appropriate in advance of Yom Kippur, which is so focused on repentance. “It’s the most important thing,” he said, looking me squarely in the eye with a mixture of impassioned education and nuanced reprimand. He is right, of course. And this is the season, I suppose, for all that — for remorse, apologies and open hearts. There is something beautiful and tender about all this, as members of the Jewish community engage in genuine and sincere introspection. Still, I looked at this man, an Orthodox leader who is esteemed in his community and has a regular spot on the podium and the bima to speak or lead services, and thought to myself, “You never apologized to me.” Like all Orthodox men who are so easily counted and heeded, who have a voice and a place and are free to participate in the community practically any way that their hearts desire, he has never asked for forgiveness from the women and girls in his community, the ones who sit upstairs behind glass, or in the back behind the curtain, desperate for even a glimpse of the activity in the sanctuary. I have never heard an apology like that from an Orthodox man. I have never heard of a rabbi get up in shul and say, “On behalf of all the privileged men, I’m sorry to all the women for all the silent suffering that you have endured for so many generations as the community stripped you of your voice and your power.” I realize that this is a very un-Yom Kippur-like thought for me to have; so much ego, so much wanting, so much self-centeredness. A proper Yom Kippur reaction would have been more self-effacing, and magnanimous, more embracing and accepting, more gracious and grateful. That’s what women — especially Orthodox women — are so well-trained in doing, not only on Yom Kippur but all year round. We are taught to put our own egos aside for the sake of the collective, to ask for little if anything for ourselves, to not want so much but to just do for others. To even think that perhaps men should apologize to women sounds so, well, unfeminine, doesn’t it?  READ MORE AT THE JEWISH WEEK      

THE FOLLOWING IS A GUEST POST BY NOTED AUTHOR AND EDUCATOR YAEL UNTERMAN I heard Yael Unterman speak about her book a few months ago and found her narratives to be captivating, intelligent and insightful. Yael Unterman is a lecturer, author and creative Torah teacher. Her first book, Nehama Leibowitz: Teacher and Bible Scholar was a finalist in the 2009 National Jewish Book Awards.  Her second book, The Hidden of Things: Twelve Stories of Love & Longing, was published in 2014.  Her website is www.yaelunterman.com Enjoy! In my book "The Hidden of Things: Twelve Stories of Love and Longing”, I spin tales of Jewish women and men who are lacking and searching (as do most of us who have any kind of pulse). These seekers of mine are Orthodox. One might suppose that Orthodoxy pushes in the opposite direction, requiring conformity and simple faith, but for me it is here that some of the most interesting and fruitful tensions arise between the old world and the new, forcing me willy-nilly to encounter the clash of values and make personal existential decisions born out of that encounter. The second story in my book, “Species”, tells of Hannah, a 30-year-old single teetering on the brink of changes in her life. Tired of being boxed in by matchmakers and society, of feeling weak, she is crossing various red lines and feeling increasingly attracted to feminism. When she goes to stay on a modern Orthodox kibbutz for Succot, she takes her set of arba minim (the four species waved at Succot) to shul, loving the mitzvah, the smell and the feel of the plants. Standing in the women’s section, she notices she is the only one with a set, and is saddened by the fact that she does not have women’s companionship in this mitzvah. As she shakes the set with gusto and sings the Hallel, she wonders if she stands out, and whether it is arrogant to be the only woman there with a set. At that moment, something rather dramatic occurs. An etrog is hurled over the partition at her, followed by another and another, and then the men start yelling and cursing and lobbing more and more diverse items at her, joined by the women. In the midst of this mayhem, the rabbi seems most concerned to get back to the orderly prayer service. Finally, Hannah, battered and bruised, picks up her lulav and begins swinging back, inspired by the feminist cause, and shouting that she is not doing anything wrong, on the contrary this is a mitzvah. At the same time, she calls out to her attackers to stop, to see her, to accept her and give her support. She does not want to be the outsider – single, feminist, other – she craves the love and acceptance of the community. I leave the story’s end to readers to discover. But I will share that when I read this story out at a book launch in a private house in London,...

El Al faces increasing pressure to end onboard 'gender segregation' @media all and (orientation:portrait) { #addToHomeScreen { zoom:1; line-height:130%; -webkit-text-size-adjust:1; } #addToHomeScreen .addToHomeClose { -webkit-text-size-adjust:100%; } } @media all and (orientation:landscape) { #addToHomeScreen { zoom:1; line-height:130%; -webkit-text-size-adjust:1; } #addToHomeScreen .addToHomeClose { -webkit-text-size-adjust:100%; } } .site-header #branding a { background-image: url(http://tlv1.fm/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/TLV1-Logo-Bar.png); } #colophon.dark #site-info .small-logo { background-image: url(http://tlv1.fm/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/TLV1-Logo-Bar1.png); } @media ( max-width: 979px ) { .wrap-navigation .small-logo { background-image: url(http://tlv1.fm/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/TLV1-Logo-Bar1.png); } } body.error404 { background-image: url(http://tlv1.fm/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/tlv1logo404.png); } a:hover, .navbar .nav .current_page_item > a, .navbar .nav .current-menu-item > a, .navbar .nav .current-post-ancestor > a, .navbar .nav .current-menu-parent > a, .navbar .nav .current-menu-ancestor > a, .navbar .nav li a:hover, .navbar .nav li a:active, .navbar .nav li a:focus, .archive .content-inner .entry-meta a:hover, .desktop .top-news .dropdown-menu a:hover, .desktop .top-news .dropdown-menu a:active, .desktop .top-news .dropdown-menu a:focus, .home .site-content .content-inner .entry-meta a:hover { color: #008bc6; } .desktop .top-news .entry-meta, .news-slider .carousel .carousel-inner .entry-category, .nav-tabs>.active>a, .nav-tabs>.active>a:hover, .single .site-content>.hentry .post-categories li { background: #008bc6 !important ; } .news-slider .carousel-list .other-entry li.active { border-left-color: #008bc6; } .nav-tabs>.active>a:before, .nav-tabs>.active>a:hover:before { border-top-color: #008bc6; } .archive .post-layout a.active, .pagination ul>li .current, .btn-primary:hover { background: #008bc6; border-color: #008bc6 !important; } body.error404 .entry-content h2 { color: #008bc6; } TLV1 RADIO 3 New Articles today October 5, 2014 The magic of Uncle Leo, finally in the ‘Queen’s’ English Israeli Opera grows up Sarah Abraham is kick-ass in Romania DW Focus HomeNews & Politics ISRAEL21c on TLV1 Radio Politely Rough So Much to Say Special Reports The Cost of Doing Business The Promised Podcast Satellite communities: The Israeli communication pioneers — ISRAEL21c on TLV1 Radio - September 30, 2014 Rosh Hashanah special: The power of the pomegranate — ISRAEL21c on TLV1 Radio - September 23, 2014 The Israeli doctor developing the Ebola antibody — ISRAEL21c on TLV1 Radio - September 16, 2014 Goodbye tablet, hello smart-watch! — ISRAEL21c on TLV1 Radio - September 9, 2014 Nazareth: The next Silicone ‘Wadi’? — ISRAEL21c on TLV1 Radio - August 26, 2014View all ‘I’m a Galilean’ says a Christian in the Jewish State – Politely Rough - August 28, 2014 Headlines from the front line – Politely Rough - August 21, 2014 Operation Protective Edge: Week 4 report – Politely Rough - July 31, 2014 Gaza war, week two: Dispatch from the front line – Politely Rough - July 24, 2014 What next for Israel and the Palestinians? – Politely Rough - July 17, 2014View all El Al faces increasing pressure to end onboard ‘gender segregation’ — So Much to Say - October 2, 2014 Mayor who turned Tel Aviv into nonstop city dies — So Much to Say - October 1, 2014 Bibi’s UN address: A breakdown — So Much to Say - September 30, 2014 The Islamic State at Jordan’s gate — So Much to Say - September 29, 2014 Abbas’ fiery UN speech – a game changer? — So Much to Say - September 28, 2014View all Women of the Wall are #SorryNotSorry - September 24, 2014 Israelis and Palestinians swinging down barriers - September 23, 2014 Happy...

Elana Sztokman, former head of JOFA (Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance) was flying back to Israel after a tour promoting her new book, “The War on Women in Israel: A Story of Religious Radicalism and the Women Fighting for Freedom”,  when an Ultra Orthodox man refused to be seated next to her because she was a woman. Mottle is joined in the studio by Voice of Israel show host Eve Harrow to discuss this incident and the larger implications of religious freedom in public spaces. Elana Sztokman on the Times of Israel Website - El Al faces uproar over ultra-Orthodox refusal to sit near women

I must admit that I did not see this coming. The buzz that has been generated around the story of gender segregation on the airplane, which has been reported now in at least half a dozen media outlets including The Telegraph and the Australian news, and has over 14,000 hits on Tablet alone  -- wow. I'm not sure why this particular story has suddenly generated such an outcry, as opposed to many other stories about gender segregation and religious radicalism. Maybe it's more like the straw that broke the camel's back in the sense that people have been experiencing this kind of thing for a long time and are finally fed up. In any event, I've spent much of the past two days engaged in all kinds of discussions online and in person about the issue of gender segregation and religion. And I'm really grateful and gratified that the conversations are happening this way. I hope that they are happening in the right places as well, places where change can happen. At least one piece of activism: Susan Shapiro started a petition to El Al, as Allison Kaplan Sommer reports in Haaretz. Meanwhile, here is an interview I did on Voice of Israel radio yesterday, on the Mottle Wolfe and Eve Harow Show. (It's really called the Mottle Wolfe show, but I felt the need to correct that gender inequality.....) REB MOTTLE: MILE HIGH SNUB What do you think?

It was a whilrwind book launch tour. I traveled to events and book signings around five cities in four states in a matter of ten days: Chicago, St Louis, New Haven, Stamford, and NYC. I signed lots of books, met some fabulous people, was hosted by some beautiful women, had my first Barnes and Noble event where they gave me an incredible boost, did several media interviews including the Brian Lehrer show on NPR (WNYC), and heard from many people -- men and women -- who were deeply grateful that this book has been published. There is a clear need to articulate a moderate voice calling for an end to religious extremism that is hurting women. I'm so pleased to be able to give that stance the power that it needs and deserves. And you would not believe what happened to me on the way home: My plane took off twenty minutes late because an ultra-orthodox man was negotiating with passengers so as not to have to sit next to me on the plane...Is that karma or poetic justice? I was thinking, I just spoke to hundreds of people about all this, and here I am in the midst of this right here and now. Part of me wanted to smile and hand out copies of my book! (Haha, how funny would that have been?) But I sat there silently for a long time, just watching all this happen, witnessing all these men around me talking about me, mostly in Yiddish, but also in Hebrew and English, without looking directly at me. I sat there, torn between my desire not to make a scene and my feeling that someone MUST speak out about this. I thought, it's all about the speaking out, isn't it? If I don't articulate, right here and now, how all this affects women, how this affects me, who will? So finally I spoke out. Right before the man found a replacement to sit next to me, I said, "Can I say something?'' and without looking at me, he said yes. I said, "Imagine if instead of men and women, we were talking about Jews and non-Jews. Imagine how you would feel if a bunch of non-Jews were standing around saying that they can't sit next to you because you're a Jew, that they are willing to sit anywhere but next to you, because their religion won't allow it, because you are impure or different, or whatever. how would you feel? How would you ever get over that insult?' I could feel my voice rising. After all these years of writing about this, after this whole tour where I went around listening to people and sharing ideas about all this, I just could not stay silent in the face of this. I'm not sure whether it mattered. One young man very kindly said to me, "You don't understand, women are holier than men," I said, "That's rubbish and it doesn't excuse the insult," and then I added that...

The Jewish Journal named my book The War on Women in Israel a "noteworthy book for the new year"   '....likely to interest anyone whose attention has been caught by headlines about gender-segregated buses or the Women of the Wall: Elana Maryles Sztokman’s “The War on Women in Israel: How Religious Radicalism Is Smothering the Voice of a Nation” (Sourcebooks). Originally from Brooklyn and now living in Israel, author and activist Sztokman is careful to note that the subject’s importance extends far beyond Israel’s borders. As she explains in an introduction: “This book tells the story of the rapidly spreading religious radicalism in Israel and the phenomenal ways that religious feminists are leading the struggle for women’s freedom against this increasing oppression. It looks at the different places where this struggle is taking place: on buses, on streets, at the holy site of the Western Wall, in courtrooms, in rabbinical courts, in the media, on the Internet, on billboards, and in the Knesset. It’s a war that is still unfolding. Perhaps when you finish reading the book, you will discover that you have a place in this story as well, because as you will see, the war on women in Israel is a war on women — and men — everywhere.” '