Jewfem Blog

The fact that a woman was arrested for wearing a tallit at the kotel should give us all pause. We should be ashamed that a woman can be so humiliated for her ritual practice, horrified that this takes place in the State of Israel in the very spot where the shechina is supposed to rest,and absolutely aghast that it is the Jewish police in the Jewish state making tallit-wearing a crime. Nofrat Frenkel, the fifth year medical student whose prayer practice is at the root of these events, told her story in the Hebrew press and then in the Forward. Her sincerity and candor in her spiritual quest are admirable. I would like to say she was courageous, but my sense is that she had no idea that her actions would require courage. She was simply trying to reach God. The atmosphere at the Kotel, the feeling that all those women praying around me were also turning to God and pouring out their hearts to Him, inspires me with the joy of Jewish fraternity. Here is one place in which, shoulder to shoulder, all the hearts are calling to God. Prayer at the Kotel is so different from private prayer at home, or from communal prayer at the synagogue. It is a mixed creation: I am in a communal place, with many worshippers, but not even one voice can be heard. Just soft murmurings, choked crying, mute requests. Poignant, earnest, and spiritual. That's how I see Nofrat Frenkel's quest. But the responses of some the talkbackers at the Forward see it differently. Verna M. Black wrote, "What a pity that this woman does not truly comprehend the mitzvot that women have in Judaism, and the mitzvot that men have. There are laws, better known as Halacha which overides the ego of women acting like men." Paulette takes a similar attack and says, "I would love to understand what Miss Frenkel's great insecurities are that she feels the need to wear a tallis so 'she can be like a man'. Grow up!"

I would like to help Jewish communities and organizations around the world develop a vision of education, social justice and spirituality. I would like to work with people seeking to make real change, and help people realize their dreams of a better world. UPCOMING CONFERENCE:Conservative Judaism: Halakhah, Culture and Sociology at the Van Leer Institute, Dec 29-30 2009 Dr. Elana Maryles Sztokman is available for speaking engagements and educational/communal consulting. Areas of expertise include: A View from the Galleys: Gender issues in religious Jewish lifeSkirts, Snoods and Smiles: Gender issues in Jewish educationPrayer and the Other: Spirituality and social awareness in Jewish educationLooks and lollipops: Adolescent religious girls in schoolOrthodox masculinity: The “Be an Orthodox Man” Box“You want to know if I’m a wimp?” Feminism for boysBeyond gender: Educating for strong girls/sensitive boysFor making me a woman: The creation of Body in OrthodoxyThe agunah catastrophe: Problems and solutions in Israel/problems and solutions outside IsraelLearning to care: Educating for social awarenessBeyond Golda: Politics and gender in IsraelEve’s Garden: The status of women in Israeli societyMothers, daughters, and women with no name: Images of biblical women/Images of me For inquiries, contact Elana at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

In today's YNET Today I usually feel pretty lucky. On Nov 25 each year, International Day against Violence against Women, supportive media will show us statistics about rape, wife-murder, and domestic violence. Usually, I can come back home and take a deep breath. Thank God, I think, I've never been beaten by my spouse under my own roof or raped, so I have always counted my blessings. But this year, something has changed.

When I was an 18-year-old yeshiva high school graduate from Brooklyn, one of the biggest questions on the minds of my female friends and me — right after, who will get engaged next? — was, who is going to “frum out” in Israel? You know, it’s what happens during that post-high school yeshiva experience in Israel: the skirts get longer, the bowing gets deeper during prayers, which also increase in frequency. The phrases “Baruch hashem” (thank God) and “bli neder” (no vow) go from a mere drizzle in one’s vocabulary to a full blown hurricane, and obedience to one’s teachers completely overtakes all ability to think independently,express flexibility and demonstrate a sense of humor. Yes, frumming out. I went through a somewhat modified version myself. I spent around 5-6 years wearing floor-sweeping skirts, spent my first four years of marriage wearing a head covering (baruch hashem, that’s over) and for a while actually believed that reward and punishment were readily apparent in everyday life. (A few good terror attacks relieved me of that notion.) I’m about to turn 40, and I’m (baruch hashem) over most of that now, as are many of my contemporaries. I often talk with my friends over Shabbat lunch about our journeys back and forth between religion, God and self. Although the journey is enlightening, I wonder how much of the pain is necessary. Put differently, some days I’m angry at my teachers. Read the rest at the Forward Sisterhood.

Last week I had the privilege of being on Nettie Feldman's internet radio program "Rusty Mike" to talk about the agunah problem in Israel. She invited Rabbi Eli Ben Dehan, head of the Jerusalem Beit Din, to talk about his solutions to the problem. His response, "You're making it up." That is how the Jerusalem Beit Din approaches the problem. Agunot, women's groups, legal advocates -- we are all hallucinating. It would be funny if there weren't so many real lives being ruined by this myopic callousness. Anyway, you can listen for yourself. Click here for the podcast.

The overwhelming assumption in many circles is that anti-Zionism is the only authentic feminist position. This knee-jerk position assumes that caring about human rights and equality necessitates a view Israel as a great patriarchal enemy. I support Jewish-Muslim women’s peace efforts, and I completely support the notion that women must play a key role in bringing change to the Middle East. Women’s language, social tools and shared cultural history have the potential to alter the discourse of Palestinian-Israeli relations, by placing human relationships and care above power politics. But I don’t believe that by saying this, I should have to denounce Israel’s right to exist. I live in Israel; my family proudly serves in the army; my efforts to promote equity,  fairness and democracy in Israel are based on an unwavering belief in Israel’s right to safely exist and defend its people. I believe in fighting injustice within Israeli society — not in attacking Israel at its core. But this nuanced approach rarely finds public expression, and that’s very challenging for me. Read the rest on the Forward Sisterhood.

The current issue of the JOFA Journal offers a smorgasbord of thoughtful articles about clothing in Orthodoxy, aka "tznius". President Carol Kaufman Newman writes about how different today's Orthodoxy is compared to when she was growing up and freely wore cheerleader outfits. "I would be less than honest if I did not confess that all this covering up gives me pause." Dvora Zlochower offers a halakhic analysis and says that rabbinic opinions cannot be divorced from social norms. The issue of women’spants “go beyond a narrower question of whether women’s pants are begged ish to their cultural and social significance as roles for women begin changing and expanding,” she writes. Raquel M. Ukeles continues the cultural theme by offering a riveting comparison of contemporary Judaism and Islam in conversation with Western society.

The sight of a Jewish champion, standing in that emotionally sweaty pose raising victorious fists in front of the Israeli flag, is enough to bring tears into the eyes of Jews everywhere. But Yuri Foreman, who three-time world champion Daniel Santos for the WBA Super Welterweight title, has become a phenomenon for the other aspect of his life: he's also an ultra-Orthodox rabbinical student. The excitement with which his personality and lifestyle have been greeted is understandable though a bit bizarre. I mean, I get the ethnic pride. You know, Jewish guys everywhere, including in my own house, have gotten a huge boost here. It's cute, actually. But really, at the risk of stating the obvious, I would like to ask the following: Doesn't the idea of kicking the wind out of someone until he's knocked unconscious go against some mitzvah somewhere?

Last week, I gave a talk at Bar Ilan University at Dr. Adam Ferziger's department seminar, where I presented my research on Orthodox masculinities. We were talking about Paul Kivel's "Be a Man Box," an incredibly useful tool for helping boys develop healthy gender identity, a tool which I have adapted to Orthodox men and have come to call the "Be an Orthodox Man Box" (the "BOMB" for short). It's a topic I've been writing and speaking about a lot recently, since completing my post-doc research on the subject, and I'm finishing up the second draft of my book on the subject, which PG will be published one day, sooner rather than later. (One of these days, I will write a longer blog post about the entire thesis....) So I was conducting a very lively discussion with MA and PhD students, mostly Orthodox, about how religious Jewish men are socialized into gender identity:

“The only organization that can successfully bring onto one stage the head of the Knesset opposition and the head of the Knesset coalition is Mavoi Satum,” said Likud head MK Zeev Elkin at Mavoi Satum’s annual Leah Globe Memorial Evening. The event, held this past Monday night at Jerusalem’s Cinematheque, honored Hebrew University President Prof Menachem Ben Sasson, Yaakov Herzog Founding President Tova Ilan, and longtime volunteer Jeremy Berkovits, for their important contributions to the advancement of agunot. “The issue of agunot and mesoravot get crosses coalition and party boundaries,” Elkin continued, “and the Knesset needs to do more in the way of legislation about this issue.” MK Daliah Itzik congratulated Prof. Ben Sasson on his success in passing the Law of Division of Property in 2008, and said that “he was willing to take on his shoulders full responsibility for this issue, to the point of risking the fall of the government.” She added that Prof. Ben Sasson is “sorely missed” at the Knesset and that “we need more Ben Sassons in government.” MK Itzik also congratulated Mavoi Satum for lobbying diligence.