Jewfem Blog

Tune in to the Afternoon Shmooze talk show on the Rusty Mike Internet Radio station this Thursday, Nov. 12, 12:30 pm, where I will be discussing what’s being done to speed up the process with host Nettie Feldman and with Rabbinical Court Director Rabbi Eliyahu Ben-Dahan. To listen, go to www.rustymikeradio.com and click on the "Listen Live" button. You’ll also be able to download the podcast several days after the show by clicking here. "See" you there!

I have a knack for embarrassing my children. Like when I sing along while they listen to “Funkytown” with their friends (is it my fault 80’s music is the new retro fad?) Or when I start doing the hip-hop linedance to Mary J. Blige’s “Just Fine” in the middle of the living room. “Ima, please stop,” is what I usually get in response. (Just for the record, my oldest daughter secretly loved the dance and had me show it to her, but she’ll never admit that to her friends.) So I speak, sing, and dance to my heart’s delight, but invariably endure that unmistakable look of desperately seeking out the nearest rock to crawl under. Ah, motherhood. One day they will hopefully all grow up and find me charming and endearing. I just hope I’m still lucid when that day comes. Recently, though, the embarrassment reached new heights when I did something so mortifying that my beautiful 12-year-old daughter actually went running to the other side of the park. READ THE REST ON THE FORWARD SISTERHOOD

I have a knack for embarrassing my children.

Like when I sing along while they listen to “Funkytown” with their friends (is it my fault 80’s music is the new retro fad?) Or when I start doing the hip-hop line-dance to Mary J. Blige’s “Just Fine” in the middle of the living room. “Ima, please stop,” is what I usually get in response. (Just for the record, my oldest daughter secretly loved the dance and had me show it to her, but she’ll never admit that to her friends.)

So I speak, sing, and dance to my heart’s delight, but invariably endure that unmistakable look of desperately seeking out the nearest rock to crawl under. Ah, motherhood.

The Rabbinate has posted some new photos of recalcitrant husbands on the Beit Din Website. David Shem Tov of Jerusalem has disappeared and left his wife an agunah for four years. According to the Jerusalem Post, the court system's spokeswoman has contacted Israeli media in an attempt to track down David Shem-Tov. "It is not enough that I am a captive in my husband's hands. My situation is worse than a slave's. According to Halacha a slave can redeem himself. But I can't," Merav said. To share information, go to their website.

Ultra-Orthodox groups pressured Fox to remove a billboard of Bar Refaeli on the Ayalon Highway.This entire situation puts women in a dilemma: Which is worse for us, the advertising industry which promotesunrealistic images of young women, or ultra-Orthodox pressure to make women invisible? The answer, of course, is, both. Read the rest of this blog on the Forward Sisterhood.

Forget Larry Summers, the whole women and math brain thing. This isn't about men dominating women in math and science. We're talking here about writing, language, the place where anti-feminist men are still kvetching that they are discriminated against, that girls in school have an unfair advantage for being "girly" and enjoying books. Yes, we're talking about books. This is Publisher's Weekly, once heralded as THE address for the book and publishing industry. This is where men are not just dominating, but completely excluding women.

This week there’s been lots of news, and lots of flu. There’s also a lot of talk about the segregated bus lines in Jerusalem, which deserves its own post. Same for the horrifying trend of men murdering their wives. I will hopefully cover both those topics independently in coming posts. In the meantime, just to catch up, here’s a quick round-up of other gender news: * Women in the wedding hall. Debra Nussbaum Cohen shares a list handed out to women at a recent family wedding with all the rules about how to dress. “In the wedding hall lobby were photocopied leaflets with the words “For Women” handwritten at the top, titled ‘Wouldn’t It Be Wonderful If:’ with a 15-item checklist: • My skirts cover at least 4 inches below my knee. • I would sew up all the slits: at the sides, front and back of my dresses, robes and skirts. • My snood…/turban completely covers my hair at all times and my crocheted snoods would be fully lined in the proper way. • I wouldn’t walk outside with a long robe on Shabbat, even at night. • I would apply perfume in extreme moderation, so that a person walking by will not notice it. • I would walk in a quiet, natural and pleasant manner which does not catch the eye or attract undue attention (Loud Footsteps)…” Ah, the things women are supposed to do to themselves…. * Jewish girls self-descructing. Leslie Goldman at the Huffington Post continues a series on the struggles of Jewish girls. “Jewish girls in particular — face in our society and culture, with a focus on eating disorders, drugs, alcohol, cutting, and other self-harming behaviors. Some hot-button areas: Do more Jewish girls suffer from eating disorders and if so, what aspects of our culture serve to muck up our relationship with food?” Very important topic, and I highly recommend following her whole series. * Jewish professional women and the pay lag. And what does the Jewish community do to women? Not pay them, not promote them, not treat them with proper professional respect. According to an important and much-needed research report by the Forward, “Despite notable gains for women in the past year, a Forward survey of 75 major American Jewish communal organizations found that fewer than one in six are run by women, and those women are paid 61 cents to every dollar earned by male leaders. The numbers are especially striking when compared with the overall composition of the Jewish communal work force. Women comprise about 75% of those employed by federations, advocacy and social service organizations, and religious and educational institutions, but occupy only 14.3% of the top positions. Of the 11 female leaders identified in this survey, three are in interim roles.” * And women in comedy. It’s not just not-for-profit, women are also lagging way behind in comedy. Comedienne Lauren Antler on The JWA Blog writes: “Assuming that “making it” defines “women” being “in comedy” then we are not...

I’m a big advocate of society over nature. In countless discussions, I’ve contested the argument that women’s role in Judaism is determined by the “facts” of biology – that is, women give birth ergo, they should not be rabbis (e.g. see Chabad). In one memorable exchange, a man said, “Men are aggressive, we like sports, and that’s just the way it is.” Of course, his wife looked at him and said, “You know, you have two sons. Only one likes football.” Just like that, the son who dislikes football became less of a man, an errant biological artifact. Read the rest on the Forward Sisterhood

“Rachel” an ultra-Orthodox mother of 12 living in Jerusalem, got divorced this week. It’s cause for celebration for two reasons. First, this grants her much-needed freedom from her severely violent and erratic now-ex-husband, a man who viciously controlled, manipulated and abused her and her children during the marriage and separation. But the real jubilation is because the divorce process – receiving her get – took nine years. Nine years! That’s a marathon that deserves acknowledgment. Unfortunately, Rachel is not alone. Thousands of agunot and mesoravot get (women denied divorce) are stuck in limbo – sometimes for years or even decades – neither married nor divorced, waiting for the rabbinical court to come to their aid. READ THE REST ON THE FORWARD SISTERHOOD BLOG