Jewfem Blog

I was sitting with a client last week, a man who directs a not for profit for whom I’m doing some grant-writing. He told me he has a new project for me, to write a 15-page marketing document, “But we cannot pay you,” he added. The organization has no money, he explained, and then he gently asked me if I would be willing to do this “not as a volunteer,” but with the understanding that I would be paid “eventually,” or “some time in the future”. I smiled politely and said that I’m grateful that he is not asking me to volunteer because I do quite a bit of volunteer work and can’t take on any more, and that this is my livelihood. And then it came, the question that always comes in conversations like this: “What does your husband do?”

Ilana Teitelbaum, in “‘What not to wear’ should never be more than a TV show”, , offers an insightful, intelligent and personal account of how rules of women’s dress are oppressive, an essay that reminded me of some of my own high school experiences: I grew up with an enforced code of modesty, and was implacably shaped by the attitudes that go with such an upbringing. I was raised an Orthodox Jew in a stringently Orthodox Jerusalem neighborhood. I grew up under the constant, watchful eyes of teachers, principals and neighbors who would make an instant judgment about me if my attire did not conform to the strict standards of Orthodox Jewish law. One teacher in the tenth grade, an internationally respected rabbi, singled me out in the middle of class for a tongue-lashing because I was wearing my hair loose on my shoulders. In the ultra-Orthodox community, such licentious display of a girl’s hair is a flagrant offense.Coming from a community in America where such standards are more relaxed, this was my first exposure to the rule. My homeroom teacher later told our class that this same rabbi would have fainted if he had known we were wearing knee socks instead of tights under our duty-length skirts (trousers, which reveal the legs and groin, are expressly forbidden). I suppose it’s a good thing he never looked up our skirts, though I can’t help wondering why he would be thinking about what was under them in the first place. Oh, yes. There were always men at the front door of the Yeshiva of Flatbush in the morning, whose job it was to “check” the length of the skirts. Sometimes it was Mr. Halevy, a history teacher, a 50+ bachelor known for putting girls with large chests in the seats in front of him. His instructions for essays were: “Should be like the length of a girl’s skirt — long enough to cover the subject but short enough to be interesting.” Ha ha ha. Hilarious. Of course, you have to wonder what Mr. Halevy was thinking at the front door as he watched those “skirts” to make sure they conformed to whatever ideas the men were thinking of at the time. One of the strongest parts of Teitelbaum’s essay is where she takes issue with one of the most challenging aspects of this discourse — i.e., the way cultural relativism is invoked in order to protect the rights of those trying to keep women covered. This is such an important topic, one that gets some otherwise open and liberal-minded people twisted in rhetorical knots instead of seeing the issues of justice and compassion right in front of them: I am disturbed because this sort of basic ignorance in the most hallowed halls of academia runs directly counter to any kind of evolution of rights for women. What begins as politically correct praise of an “other,” exotic culture can end with an embrace of the tyranny that women have been seeking to escape...

Kolech, the leading Orthodox feminist organization in Israel, will be holding its bi-annual conference on Women and Judaism on Monday, July 13, 2009, at the Keshet School in Jerusalem. This is a vital and vibrant arena for engaging discussions and exchanges about gender and Judaism in Israeli society. The Kolech conferences are a critical forum for placing on the public agenda dilemmas, issues, and critical debates about topics surrounding the lives of Orthodox women in Israel. It is not too late to submit a proposal for a session. It is not too late to submit a proposal for a session.

Ladies of Israel! Wonderful news! The secret truth about God's justice has been finally revealed, in all places, in women's shoes. Yes, Orthodox Jewish women can save men's souls by paying attention to their own soles. According to an advertisement in last week's Five Towns Jewish News, "sisters" are urged to bring redemption and salvation to the poor yeshiva boys who were arrested in Japan and sentenced to eight years in prison for "accidentally" smuggling 90,000 Ecstasy pills. The mother of one of the guys published this advert, in which she claims to be suffering "mental anguish and agony," and to have "large sums of money" to help her son, some of which she has obviously now allocated to this vital cause of saving her son by getting women to follow rules of "tznius".

Today is a very important day for women in Israel. This morning opened the rape and sexual assault trial of former President of Israel Moshe Katzav. Today is the day we will begin to find out whether Israel is ready to tackle the issue of violence against women, even in halls of power, or whether the good ol' boys club will continue to dominate public opinion. I'm cautiously optimistic that there have been some signs of change, but I'm going to be following events carefully.

As I watched the incredible courage and grace of “Aleph”, the rape accuser of former president Moshe Katzav, at her press conference, one of the questions that kept flying through my mind was, Is this whole affair good or bad for women?

Last week in Israel was a zinger for women. The appeal of Katzav’s plea bargain was alternating in the media with excerpts of the women’s stories. Meanwhile, Haim Ramon, the first convicted sex offender to be brought into the government was appointed vice premier – the same job that Ehud Olmert took shortly before then PM Ariel Sharon went into a coma, a position like that of US Vice President that seems powerless until something unexpected happens, like sudden death or a stroke. I’m torn between an intense desire to see Olmert go home for his corruption and incompetence, and a newfound terror that if he steps down, we will have a convicted sex abuser for Prime Minister. Not a good turn of events for women in this country.

The Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance will be conducting a workshop for educators of Humash on Sunday, May 17, 2009 from 9 am to 2 pm at the Drisha Institute for Jewish Education. Through the workshop, JOFA seeks to develop a community of practice among participants, reinforce the approach of its curricula, and provide ongoing peer support for teachers.

Maybe I’m a little grumpy from the Pope’s visit to Israel, since it meant my having to spend three hours trying to get home from Jerusalem today, stuck parking half an hour’s walk from my friend’s son’s bar mitzvah, with no taxis in sight, and then waiting in line by the parking garage exit for 90 minutes because streets were completely closed off to all of us mere mortals (read, anyone but the Pope and his entourage). But actually, I think I’ve been having grumpy Lag Ba’Omers for a few years now. It may have started the year our neighbor had his (wooden) front door frame removed by eager bonfire-makers. Or maybe it was before then, the year I forgot to take in my hanging laundry in the afternoon, and it took a few washes to get the smell of smoke out of the clothes. Or the time I left a window slightly open and the entire house stunk of fire for days. Plus, the entire Lag Ba’Omer scene fills me with dread about fire-related accidents — they happen every year, without fail. But mostly, it reminds me of some of the qualities of Israeli society that I find most disturbing. For one thing, Lag Ba’Omer is obviously terrible for the environment. One has only to walk through the streets the morning after to feel the heat and devastation, the absolute waste and the turning of parks into mounds of ashes. The air is hot and polluted, the sun is completely blocked, and if there is one educational lesson from Lag Ba’omer it would be this: stop destroying forests and trees. The actual content of Lag Ba’Omer itself is also suspiciously absent. Ask kids (or adults for that matter) about the origin of the holiday and they’ll mumble something about Rabbi Akiva or Bar Kochba — or that other rabbi, you know, the one who lived in the cave (if they are really good they might know the name, Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai). They may be able to tell you about 24,000 students who died, and now stopped dying (so we celebrate? it’s all a bit odd). In the more esoteric circles, some will talk about bizarre kabbalistic mysteries of the day that, frankly, are too weird to even be said out loud. Almost none will know the real story about Rabbi Akiva — that his 24,000 students died because he sent them to fight in Bar Kochba’s rebellion in 132 CE, that Rabbi Akiva risked his students’ lives backing what turned out to be a false messiah, that Rabbi Akiva’s misguided assessment of Bar Kochba’s military superiority came from his wishful thinking and desire to believe that the Jews would quickly regain autonomy through Bar Kochba, and that Rabbi Akiva’s wide-eyed misjudgment sent most of his students to their deaths. Actually, more death and devastation by Roman hands occurred during the Bar Kochba revolt that during the destruction of the Second Temple. The Jews lost Jerusalem in 70CE, but they...

I'm on my way to New York, my first trip there in three years. I'm going for the second conference of the Global Task Force on Jewish Peoplehood Education of the School for Jewish Peoplehood Studies at Beth Hatefutsoth, the Museum of the Jewish People. What is "Peoplehood"? It's a way of conceptualizing Jewish identity beyond the liberal-minded individualistic search for self. It revolves around connectivity and mutual responsibility, and implies that one cannot be Jewish in a vacuum, the Judaism is inherently different from, say, Christianity, in that there is a necessarily communal element to it. One cannot be a "Good Jew" alone -- a Passover seder of One is not a seder. Connection is key. For me, it's not just connection but mutual responsibilty: this is about reminding Jews that caring for the well-being of the person sitting across the table, ocean, screen, or partition is a vital aspect of our tradition and heritage. Below is the press release about the conference. I'll try and send a blog from there, otherwise, reporting when I get back. L'hitraot!

I have neglected this blog for over a week….. I’ve had three major projects all come due at the same time (yesterday), which meant that I was entirely focused on getting things off my todo list, and of course, blogging barely made it onto the list. I just want to say, I feel a little bit like Lucy on the assembly line as things keep coming and I can’t always keep up. Only, it’s not just work that piles up, but actually the blog posts in my brain. It’s a big problem…..The blog is actually really important for my mental health, keeping ideas flowing and making sure that I don’t get too sunk in to one spot and stop moving forward. Once it’s written and out there, I have a freedom inside, an ability to move forward and explore new avenues. Or revisit old ones from new perspectives. That’s really why I blog. Not to make a particular point, but mostly as housecleaning for inside my head. I think it keeps me sane. Anyway, thanks for your patience. I hope to get back to blogging soon. Even though, one of my big projects is a conference that I’m coordinating in New York, which I’m leaving for on Wednesday (had to get all the materials off by UPS yesterday, so that’s done, but now I have to actually pack AND, well, plan my own talk…. AARGH)…. So anyway, I’m going to try and send in some thoughts about Budapest, Gal Lusky, Yom Hazikaron/Atzmaut, and then mehadrin buses, as well as maybe some regards from NYC…. But until then….just keep swimming, just keep swimming (hattip Dori).